Happy Birthday Didi - 11/29/2005

Mirror of my life

Its 1 a.m. and yes I should be fast asleep, rejuvenating myself for yet another hectic day at work - elaborate experiments wait to be executed, cells to be cultivated and journals to be updated. But I have other things on my mind, boggling me. Every now and then I get bouts of sheer pandemonium about my existence, my life, my very purpose on this populated land we affectionately call home. In the past, I have been very restless about my future that seemed to be changing like autumn foliage. But today, firmly secured with a rather rewarding (mentally) job I am at ease. I can feel a sense of poise emanating from within but not in all aspects.

Three complete years after I walked away from home, I still yearn for where I belong.

"....I long for the sense of belonging to a place called home."

But...my journey to fulfill my dream has just begun. How will I make it till the end? Life is to be savored along the way - so is my belief. With only one of the myriad of things that make my life complete, I struggle to hike to the end of the path, reassuring myself that it is the product of my patience and perseverence which will pay off someday. However, there is a caveat: the fruit of my labor is not going to return the forgotten friends, forsaken ties, lost moments...

I realise this completely today. But was I aware of this then? Or maybe I was blurred with other visions of immediate gratification....

A friend like none before

It was like losing a prized possesion
a treasure
walking away from all i knew
the love, the warmth
and you
a friend like none before.

A protective arm
an affectionate smile
a reassuring hug
an attentive ear to pour my woes to
all this and a little more i had in you.

We cared for each other being miles apart
We walked together but in paths diverged
and eventually
all we saw were silhouettes
of you
of me
of morning walks, evening drives and coffees sipped
while the crowd drowned us
distanced us
and all i had left was a hand clutching a pendant...

A piece of my heart has since been carved
with those handful moments
adorned
with the bitter truth
scarred
of realisation
of never having having your shoulder by me again
ever...

A piece of my heart has been carved
by you
unknowingly, unrealisingly
you left footprints in my mind.

A path often revisited
when loneliness creeps in
when the dire need to be heard arises
when my heart longs for a dear friend
it weeps
silently
for paths veered
for a bond that's in eclipse
vanishing
into the unknown
for a friendship that could have given so much more
joy
comfort
togetherness
for a love fostered
for eternity,
long after the memories fade
if ever.